What's new with the Boys

I didn't realize how hard blogging is going to be now that I'm back to work 3X a week.  I miss it so much.  I miss looking at other people's blogs as well.

What's new with my boys?

Let's start with Super LJ!  That's what he likes to call himself.  He truly has grown so much.  I can't believe that my son (3 years, 4 months) is wearing size 5T clothing!  His 3T jeans are all high waters on him now.  I had to do some major shopping for him, which I love to do.  He has been talking in full sentences for a while now and would sometimes use "big words" like dilemma, catastrophe and situation.  Do you see a pattern with his word use?  It all involves getting himself in mischief!  We're teaching him to care for his toys and books.  Last week, he managed to have what seemed like WWIII in his room.  All of his stuffed animals, trains, wood blocks, musical instruments, you name it and he had them all out on the floor in his room.  I could barely walk in there.  The minute he saw the look on my face, he quickly ran to me and said, "Mama, I have a dilemma.  You wanna help me clean my room.  It's messy."  I had to remind him of our rule of playing with just a few toys at a time, NOT every single piece of toy he owns.  But how can I get upset with such cute face?

We also recently just allowed him to start playing with the Wii sports/Fit, the only video game we own.  We love it because he doesn't just sit in front of the TV, he literally moves.  He loves running, baseball and tennis.  I couldn't believe that he can run close to 3 miles on the Wii fit.  Today at the park, he actually made his dad run around the park with him, I mean my boy was running non-stop for about 30 minutes!  Am I thankful that he loves to be active!  

You want to know what I love most about this boy of mine?  It's when he comes up to me and surprises me with the things he says.  Here's what he's told me lately:

--"Mom, you saved the day!"  very random but he says this to me at least once a day.

--"I miss you, Mama"  (whenever I come home from work)

--"I love you, Mama"  is always a winner.

--"Thank you, Mama or Thanks, Mom"  

--"Mama, you're my best friend."  He has been saying this to me and Leo lately and it just melts      my heart.  

--"It's yummy in my tummy, Mom!"  when he likes something that I prepared for him to eat.

--"Where are we going today Mom?"  Every singled day, he asks either his dad or I this                      question, no fail.

--Tonight, as I was putting him to bed, he gave me the biggest hug and the sloppiest kiss, touched my hair and said, "I like your hair Mama.  You have pretty hair.  It smells goooood....mmmm..."  I could have pinched those cheeks and kiss him non-stop.  

Lucas who is now a little over 10 months is just too stinking cute.  His smiles just lights up the room and puts a smile on my face instantly.  He takes after his dad who also loves to smile.  His two front bottom teeth are out and the top two front teeth are about to erupt any day now, which means he is drooling constantly.   He loves to eat solids but is still being breast fed.  He adores Cheerios.  He can't get enough of that stuff.  I can't get enough of that stuff!  It is such a life saver for me.  He is also very active himself.  For about a month now, he's been holding on to furnitures, tables, our legs to stand and taking steps.  He also has this push toy (see pictures) that he practices to walk on.  Today at the park, he was pushing, dragging and lifting that thing around.  I also must say that since Christmas, he discovered his left thumb.  He loves sucking on that thumb whenever he gets upset or wants to go to sleep.  I don't know whether to be happy or worry about it.  LJ never sucked his thumb.  

My 10 month old by the way is now wearing clothes for 18 months old.  I can't believe how big my baby is!  He adores his big brother and would follow him around despite the older one not being nice to him all the time.  The reason, he loves to play with his older brother's toys.  LJ can make this boy giggle at a snap of a finger.

Day At The Park

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Happy 2009 everyone!  I know that it's a bit late.  I have totally neglected my blog.  Everyday, I dream about posting but with me returning to work, it's been extra tough trying to find the time.  I hope that you all are having a wonderful, prosperous 2009 so far!

As I've stated, I'm back to work 3 days a week.  I didn't realize how much I missed taking care of the precious children until I returned back to work.  Although it's been tough, it is indeed very rewarding.  The unit where I work, Bone Marrow Transplant, is sort of like the last resort for children who have diseases such as cancer, rare blood disorders, etc.  I personally don't see it that way because as we all know, "With God, all things are possible" and He is the greatest healer.  No matter how advanced science is/gets, God will always remain supreme.

WARNING:  Please skip this part if you're sensitive to health/medical related topics.  I tried very hard not to be overly descriptive.

Reflecting on 2008

The year 2008 was a year of personal growth for me both personally and spiritually.  I learned so much about myself last year.  I'm very leary about sharing very personal things about myself here on the internet but after much consideration and prayer, I realized that I should share how God continues to amaze me, especially at the bleakest times of our lives.  On December 2007, while 6 months pregnant with my second son, I felt a mass the size of a quarter in my right breast.  I attributed it to the fact that I am pregnant and that it's probably just my breast glands getting ready for milk production.  In the next couple of days, the mass grew to the size of an egg and was becoming very painful to touch.  I immediately called my OB-GYN, who upon examining me immediately referred me to a Breast Specialist.  From there, the trial started.  The breast specialist did an ultrasound and thought that the mass was filled with milk, that it was more than likely my milk ducts being overactive.  But because the pain was becoming unbearable, she suggested I go ahead with an aspirate and Biopsy.  Because I didn't know what to expect, I went to this appointment on my own.  I became afraid and all I could do was ask her if I can have some time to  call my husband.  There's no worse feeling than going through a procedure like that all alone with no husband to hold my hands.  As she attempted to drain the mass, she was not able to aspirate anything.  What she thought was milk was actually solid.  She proceeded to do a biopsy and that's when it hit me!  "I am potentially expecting a really bad scenario here."  

As I've stated on my previous post, I am a Pediatric Nurse with specialty in Oncology/Bone Marrow Transplant.   Truth be told, having this profession didn't help me one bit during this time.  In fact, it made me afraid.  The Breast Specialist knew what I did for a living and she quickly reminded me that "I knew what I could potentially be facing".  I am not going to lie that so many thoughts entered my head.  I tried very hard to push those thoughts away but knowing what I know, my mind started playing tricks on me.  And again, being alone didn't help.  The drive home was the worst.  I kept praying for God to protect me and the baby.  I was bargaining and pleading with the Lord.  I got my husband on the phone and he quickly calmed me by praying with me and reminding me that God is in control.

When the Breast Specialist called me that Saturday, I didn't know what to expect.  Why was she calling me on a Saturday?  If she had the biopsy result, is she calling because it's bad?  To my joy, she called on a Saturday, her day off, because she could not wait to share with me that the test result said NO CANCER!  I was jumping up and down with joy.  I was so thankful to the Lord.  I quickly called my husband and we were both overjoyed on the phone.

So forward to March 14, 2008, the day I gave birth to my second son, Lucas!  He was just beautiful and looked so much like his older brother, LJ.  I was beyond elated and overjoyed.  I, once again, fell in love at first sight!  Breast feeding was okay but I could definitely tell that he didn't like the right side (the side with the mass).  By the time we were discharged home, different thoughts were going through my head, which I was desperately trying to fight by praying.  To make a long story short, my difficulty with breast feeding at the right side started a spiral of problems.  Apparently, the mass was covering the areola so every time I attempted to feed my baby, the milk had no where to come out.  At the worst of this whole ordeal, I ended up with 8 holes on my right breast.  The skin literally erupted when the milk couldn't come out.  But because I was still breast feeding on the left side, my Breast Specialist instructed me to drain the right side as well every 2-3 hours.  I would literally feed my baby, boil water, get it to the right temperature, pour water in a clear bowl, set it on our dining table, kneel on our chair and soak my right breast and let the warmth of the water drain it.  This was my routine for what seemed like an eternity (3 months).  I literally didn't get any sleep at that time but the few minutes here and there.  The combination of post partum hormones, fatigue, lack of sleep and the cumbersome routine I had to adhere to  made me a ticking bomb.  I was very moody, would cry instantly and my patience was, well I had none.  

Thank God for his grace and mercy!  Oh his mercies are truly new every day!  I know that the only way I got through the 6 months of being on high dose antibiotics, not sleeping and caring for a toddler and an infant is by letting Jesus carry me through it.  Every day, I would just cry out to him.  Every night, I would do the same.  My bible would automatically open to the Psalms as that was the most comforting portion of the bible for me at that time.  I thank God that He got me through those tough times.

I share this with you all, not for pity, certainly not for a pat on the back.  As I've stated on the beginning of this entry, 2008 was a year of personal growth for me.  I learned so much about humility, compassion, and love.

1.  God's enduring love--I will never be able to capture into words how thankful I am that I serve an almighty God, full of mercy and grace.  Yes, I'm thankful that the mass was benign but more than that, I'm thankful that I have a God who wrapped his arms around me when I needed comfort and continues to bathe me with love and Mercy every day.  Thank You, Lord!  

2.  Word of God--What would I have done without the word of God during those nights!  God literally spoke to me through his word.  When I was in desperate state and felt like everything was hopeless, reading my bible lifted me and encouraged me.  It showed me the promises and plans God had for me.  Because of this, I taught my 3 year old son this verse last summer.  

"For I know the plans I have for you,"

declares the Lord; "Plans to prosper you

and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

Jeremiah 29:11

3.  My Family and Friends--I am so thankful for my church family.  They did so much for us.  They brought meals, took care of the children so I can rest or do things like take a shower, eat, go to Doctor appointments.  Most importantly, they showed so much compassion and love by calling to check on me, to see how I'm feeling and to just let me know that I'm loved.  I'm so thankful for all of the prayers.  I know God heard all of them.  What a blessing you all have been to me and Leo (and the children).  

4.  My Amazing Husband--Last but not least, I thank Jesus for my husband.  He was/is my rock second to Jesus.  God, you certainly knew your best for me and that is my Leo.  Thank you, thank you, endlessly.  When I was single, I loved reading this particular verse over my future husband.  I prayed that the he would have the characteristics of the Lord listed here.

Psalm 103:8-10

The Lord is compassionate and gracious,

slow to anger, abounding in love.

He will not accuse, nor will he harbor his anger forever;

he does not treat us as our sins deserve

or repay us according to our iniquities.

In 2008, Leo displayed all of these characteristics I have prayed for, when I needed them most.  He gave me compassion and was very gracious with me when I wasn't feeling well and not my self.  He held my hands every day and night to pray for me and with me, for healing.  he held me when I needed to be held and gave me unending grace when I was impatient from sleep deprivation.  Am I thankful that he is very slow to anger.  He is the most patient man I know.  He gave the children and I love, endless it seems.  Most importantly, he does not accuse or harbor anger.  With what we went through this year, he could have easily shown frustration himself but he is the most forgiving man I know.  I count my blessing everyday for having a gift of a husband.  I'm thankful that my sons have a godly man to look up to.

My blog friends, thank you for you friendships.  May 2009 be a year filled with:

Love

 Joy

Peace

Longsuffering

Kindness

Goodness

Faithfulness

Gentleness

Self-Control